Orange Dreamsicle Margarita

COCKTAIL OF THE WEEK: 5TH EDITION

I shall warn you from the get go, this drink is not for the faint of heart. It takes time, preparation, and quite a bit of, well, ingredients, it just takes a lot of ingredients. But if you are like me and you love these three things, Tequilla, Coconut, and the Ice Cream Man, then allow me to take you on a magical journey to flavor town. This weeks cocktail is another original recipe, and a twist on a classic, that brings together your adult alcoholic, and your inner child. So if you're man (or woman) enough, then grab your grocery list, open your Amazon account, and start ordering some ingredients for this week's concoction: The TAYLOR-MADE: ORANGE DREAMSICLE MARGARITA.

TAYLOR-MADE: ORANGE DREAMSICLE MARGARITA

Like I said the biggest challenge with this drink is simply collecting everything you will need to make it. The mixing and serving is pretty easy and straight forward, but compared to some of the other cocktails we've featured this one simply just has more in it. Now the recipe calls for coconut tequilla, but this is more to add a little extra zing, it is not mandatory, and any nice silver high quality tequilla will suffice, but if you're going to go through all this trouble, you may as well get the coconut, trust me you'll use all of it. Besides the tequilla here's a full list of what you'll need:

- Cointreau or a similar triple sec orange liquor

- Coconut Tequilla (1800) or a nice mid-top shelf silver agave tequilla

- Lime juice (1oz per drink) and fresh lime wedges

- Coconut Milk 

- Coconut Water

- Fresh Orange Juice (either squeeze or a nice brand with pulp 2oz per drink) and orange slices

- Vanilla Sugar Syrup

- Orange Infused Honey

- Vanilla Bean Sea Salt

- Nice rocks glass or mason jars

PREPARATION: one drink at a time

- Get all your ingredients laid out, juices juiced and fruit pre-cut

- For your garnishes, you'll want one lime wedge and one orange "wheel" for each drink (for an orange wheel, place orange horizontally and cut off the tip of the orange then cut another piece about 1/2 inch thick into a wheel shape)

- You'll need two small plates for adding the Vanilla Bean Rim to your glass, one with some orange infused honey poured onto it, and one with a small amount of vanilla bean salt poured onto it

- You'll need all your traditional cocktail mixing equipment (i.e. shaker, strainers, etc.)

- Before mixing everything into your shaker, rim your glassware by dipping the rim of the glass into the honey so you get a small thin layer of honey around the entire rim. 

- Next dip the glass into the vanilla bean sea salt to create a smooth even rim around the edge of the glass

- Allow the glasses to sit and dry slightly while we start the mixing

MIXING: for one drink at a time

- In an empty shaker add the following:

* 2 oz Cointreau

* 1 oz Coconut Tequilla

* 1 oz Lime Juice

* 1 oz Coconut Milk

* 1 oz Coconut Water

* 2 oz Orange Juice

* 1 oz Vanilla Sugar Syrup

- Add Ice to shaker then shake vigarously for 20-30 seconds, double strain into rimmed glass over ice

- Squeeze in one fresh lime wedge

- Drop fresh lime wheel on top

- Instagram, and enjoy

Margaritas are great, not just because tequilla is awesome, but because there's so many variations you can make on this classic recipe. Personally this is one of my favorite recipes, not just because it's delicious but because it's so fresh and different. The ingredients are a little more expensive, and some things you may need to source online or from a local organic market, but it's definitely worth the effort. This is also a great drink for a girls night out as it can easily be converted to a Margarita Martini. The  coconut adds a refreshing twist and the Vanilla Bean Sea Salt is a revelation that will have you coming back for over and over and over again!

Glasgow Kiss Sour

COCKTAIL OF THE WEEK: 4TH EDITION

Some of the best drinks are the one's that have a good story behind them. As a professional bartender, I'm also basically a professional salesman. Ya, anyone can sell you a pint, but it takes a little bit of silver-tongued loquaciousness to get someone to upgrade to forking out $20 for a cocktail. That's why I love when bars I work at have a good theme, and why I especially love drinks that have a good story behind them. The "Hemminway Daiquari" for instance is an easy sell, simply because it automatically makes people feel like they're sharing a round with Ernie. But I also love creating my own little concoctions that have been inspired by different events or people I've met over the years, and that's exactly what this cocktail is. 

The Scottish have got to be some of the nicest, friendliest, drunkest people on the planet, and I've yet to meet one I haven't liked. But based on my experience, it seems every person born in Scotland is born in Glasgow. Though this might simply be a coincidence, I would wager it's mostly because the Scottish are delightfully full of (insert four letter word here). Now this is fine, it makes for amazing banter, and no one has better banter than a scotsman, but it also gave me an idea. A drink that's fun and exciting but not quite exactly what it seems to be, and so became the TAYLOR MADE: GLASGOW KISS. 

TAYLOR MADE-GLASGOW KISS SOUR:

One of the best ways to make something new and exciting is to simply add a little spin on an old classic, and it doesn't get much more classic than a Whiskey-Sour. With that in mind, and with my Scottish friends serving as the inspiration, I created a modern twist on this old classic, that I think will be something everyone can enjoy. As with most sours we have just four main ingredients, our liquor, lemon or lime juice, sugar syrup, and egg white. But as with most great cocktails, it's not simply about the ingredients, it's about the little extra you put in to make it great, in this case that will be Buckfast Tonic Wine, and Maraschino Cherries soaked in whiskey. So here's what you'll need:

- A nice mid to high-end scottish whiskey (of course). I prefer a blend for this drink with a nice balance (you don't want something to peaty or smokey, but a little more smooth on the palate). A great affordable blend is Monkey Shoulder.

- Lemon or Lime Juice, normally for a whiskey sour I would recommend lemon, but with this particular drink the extra punch of tart from the lime is a nice touch (1 oz per drink, squeeze accordingly).

- Gumme or plain sugar syrup (need 1/2 oz per drink)

- Egg Whites (pre-maid is probably easier if you've never cracked egg whites before, 1 oz per drink).

- Buckfast Tonic Wine, this is essential, because nothing else quite tastes like "Bucky". You may need to search a higher end import store depending on where you live (which is rather ironic if you know anything about 'Bucky', it's not exactly classy).

- Marschino Cherries, depending on how many people your making drinks for is how big of a jar you should get, but they're good in everything so probably opt for the big jar.  

- Normal cocktail making equipment (shakers, strainers, etc.)

PREPARATION (PART ONE: THE CHERRIES):

- This is not a mandatory step, but definitely worth the extra effort if you're going to be entertaining some guests and really want a little something extra. You should do this at least 24 hours before hand.

- In a large cup or glass add as many cherries as you will need for the night (without the juice), try to get at least two per drink, but three if you've got the time and energy.

- Next (depending on the size of the glass and the number of cherries, fill up with 2 parts whiskey, 1 part Buckfast, and 1 part Marschino Cherry juice. 

- Give it a little mix to distribule the liquid and place in the fridge for at least 24 hours to allow the mix to infuse with the cherries (testing whenever you feel the need of course).

PREPARATION (PART TWO: THE COCKTAIL):

- Firstly, as always, make sure all your ingredients are set out and ready to go (juice squeezed, cherries prepped, egg whites either cracked or pre-made package ready).

- For this cocktail you want to use a nice see-through high-ball glass (6-8 oz capacity), so have the appropriate amount of those. The presentation of this drink is just as important as the drink itself.

MIXING: for one drink at a time

- In an empty shaker add the following:

* 2 oz Scottish Blended Whiskey (Monkey Shoulder)

* 1 oz Lime Juice (or Lemon if you prefer)

* 1 oz Egg White 

* 1/2 oz Gumme (Sugar Syrup)

- Firstly, "Dry Shake" the drink, firmly closing the lid and shaking for 10-15 seconds

- Remove the lid, add ice, then proceed to "Wet Shake" for another 15-20 seconds

- Double strain over ice into your high-ball glass

- Next, pour 1/2 an oz of Buckfast into a seperate shot glass and slowly and carefully pour over the top of the drink to create a "Bucky Float", the two should stay relatively separated and you'll notice a beautiful juxtiposition between the yellow/brown of the sour, and the deep burgandy of the wine.

- Finally, add however many of your soaked Marschino Cherries as you desire, Instagram that bad boy, and enjoy.

The thing I love about this drink is the simplicity, the sophistication, and also the general debauchery which it implies. A whiskey sour is a cocktail a man like Don Draper would drink, while Buckfast (at least according to all my Scottish friends) is directly linked in around 70% of all alcohol related crimes in Scotland. The two juxtapose together perfectly in this Taylor-Made Cocktail of The Week, and I hope you enjoy drinking it half as much as I enjoyed making it. 

Berry Sorbet Martini

COCKTAIL OF THE WEEK: 3RD EDITION

If you've ever bartended before, or most likely if you've ever been to a bar period, at some point you've heard this phrase uttered, "I don't know... make me something yummy." This phrase comes in a variety of forms, you may have also heard any of these:

"Just... I don't know... whatever's good."

"What would YOU drink?"

"Make me something special!"

The majority of the time it's not their fault, these people are not professionals, they are simply customers. While it may be frustrating for us behind the bar, I wouldn't expect to be able to walk into whatever it is you do for a job and pick it right up either. We are the link between you, and some delicious concoction, and you are willfully admitting your ignorance, and trusting us to deliver. This exchange used to frustrate me, all I could think was, "You've been waiting ten minutes, and you didn't stop to think about what the %^$& you wanted to order?!" But after many years, and continuing to increase my knowledge over time, I learned to embrace this. I created a list of go to drinks for the undecisive. Simple, easy to make, and most importantly, delicious. This week's cocktail is an old favorite off that list, The Taylor-Made: Berry Sorbet Martini. It's the perfect response to any girl looking for something sweet and delicious, but has no idea what she wants. This is one of the simpliest drinks I make, but chicks love it (and dude's they just won't admit it), and I'm sure you'll love it too. 

TAYLOR MADE-BERRY SORBET MARTINI:

This is the perfect drink for a girls night out, or better yet, if you wanna be fancy and have a girls night in. It's super simple, and super delicious, and a lot stronger than it tastes (so be careful). Like I said it's also super easy to make, even though it has five ingredients (but all in equal portions), but with a little creative flair you can make it look like a $20 cocktail. Here's what you'll need:

- A nice bottle of vodka (I love Tito's, but any mid to premium is great)

- A bottle of Chambord Raspberry Liquor 

- Some fresh squeezed lemon juice (an ounce per drink, so squeeze accordingly)

- Gumme (Regular Sugar Syrup)

- Fresh or Boxed Egg Whites (probably boxed if you don't have experience cracking eggs)

- If you wanna get fancy, a bottle of Maraschino Cherries and a straw

- That's it... simple

**Side Note: If you've never made cocktails before and are unsure of the reason for needing eggwhites, it's simply about creating a frothy creamy drink. If you drink a lot of Martinis you've almost assuredly had a drink made with egg whites before. Don't get grossed out, they are totally safe and healthy, and hey protein! So now your getting drunk... and healthy!**

PREPARATION:

- Firstly, get everything laid out (all your bottles, egg whites and juice)

- Make sure your martini glasses are rather large (at least 6 oz) as the drink will thin slightly when mixed and you don't want to overflow

- It's possible to make two drinks at a time, but you will need a very large shaker, or simply get small cute martini glasses and split each drink into two

- You will need all your basic cocktail making tools again (shaker, strainer, etc.)

- Let's get started

MIXING: for one drink at a time

- In an empty shaker add 1oz each of the following:

* Vodka

* Chambord

* Lemon Juice

* Gumme

* Egg White

- If your know what you're doing, here is where you would first "dry shake" then add ice and "wet shake"... If you don't know what that means, just add ice and shake for about 15-20 seconds

- If you simply want to drink this is where you double strain into the glass and enjoy, however, if you have a flair for the dramatic, and presentation, then you can add one more step.

- Using the juice from the cherries, dip the straw into the bright red juice and plug the other end with your finger so no juice comes out

- Bring the straw to the foamy, yummy martini glass and allow some juice to drip out (one drop at a time) around the edge of the glass, using four drops total to create a cross shape with the red cherry dots

- Once you've got all four of your dots, dip the straw lightly into the center of one of the dots and draw a circle with the straw going through the center of each of the red dots, and finishing back at the top

- Voila! You've created a beautiful set of four red hearts encircling the glass... Post that shiz to Instagram and drink up!

This cocktail is great for bachelorette parties, birthdays, and/or simply just a girls night out (or in). It's sweet, but not overly sweet, and it's got just the right amount of kick, mixed with deliciousness. I hope you enjoy and remember to comment, share, and even send in your own recipes for us to try out. 

The Perfect Storm

For the better part of the last decade I have been a bartender to pay the bills. As anyone who has bartended for this long knows, this also means I am also a certified therapist, relationship counselor and official late night "booty call", because who else is just getting off work at 4am? What it also means is over the course of that time, I've learned a thing or two about the art of cocktail making. When I wasn't busy explaining the difference between a Vodka and Gin Martini (or my preference for stirring no matter what James Bond may think) or trying to get one of my regulars laid, I was messing around with all those fancy bottles behind the bar. With this knowledge gained and now in collaboration with Taylor Magazine we will be presenting a weekly cocktail, to get help power you through your week. Many of these will be my own personal concoctions, and some will simply be slight twists on old classics. Regardless, start taking screen shots and bringing these with you to your swankiest cocktails bars in town, and bask in the glow of the bartender finally asking you, "Wait, what's in that?"

COCKTAIL OF THE WEEK: 2ND EDITION

Sometimes you just need to channel your inner pirate, and when that day comes there's really only one drink that will do... RUM! In this second installment of Taylor-Made Cocktails, we will be exploring a small twist on a old favorite, the Dark and Stormy. For those of you that have never experienced this delicious cocktail, just know from the start you are in for a treat. There are many impersonators, but any real bartender will tell you, there's nothing quite like a real Dark and Stormy. So with that in mind we will explore this old classic, but give it a little extra punch up.

TAYLOR-MADE: THE PERFECT STORM

Rum drinks are great, because they always make you feel like you're at the beach, even if you're in the middle of the mountains. There's a reason rum was the drink of choice for writing great Ernest Hemminway, a good rum cocktail, especially one like this, warms the soul, and gets the creative juices flowing. So let's explore the art of classic Tiki cocktails and channel our inner Jack Sparrow with a drink that will sure to make you exclaim, "Where's all the Rum Gone?!" Here's what you'll need:

- Gosling's Black Seal Rum (80 proof)

- Gosling's Black Seal Rum (151 proof)

- A few cans of Gosling's Ginger Beer

- A few stalks of fresh Lemon Grass

- One fresh chunk of ginger

- Lots of fresh limes (for juicing and cutting)

- Gumme (Plain Sugar Syrup)

- Tiki Mugs (or some nice High Ball Glasses)

Preparation: 

- Firstly, get all your ingredients laid out (you'll probably want a juicer for this)

- You will also need some basic cocktail making equipment for this drink (shakers, strainers, muddler, jiggers, etc.)

- Depending on the size of your shaker, you can make up to two drinks at a time, but there's no shame in enjoying a couple of these bad boys by yourself

- Get all of your juice ready, you'll need an ounce of lime juice per drink, so juice accordingly

- Make a lime boat for your 151 floater. To do this cut a lime horizontally and use the knife to cut out the pulp inside the skin. You want to make sure there's as little pulp remaining as possible.

- Let's get started

MIXING: for one person at a time

- Cut about 2 cm of the lemon grass stalk and about the same size portion of the fresh ginger

- Muddle these two in the shaker, until they are pulvarized and you can see the juice from the ginger

- Add the following:

1. 2 ounces Gosling's Black Seal (80 proof)

2. 1 ounce fresh lime juice

3. 1/2 ounce Sugar Syrup

4. Fill up the rest of the shaker with ice

- Shake for about 30 seconds and double strain over ice into Tiki or High ball glass

- Top with Gosling's Ginger Beer

- Throw your lime boat on top and add another 1/2 ounce to 1 ounce of Gosling's Black Seal (151 proof)

- Light the rum in the lime boat on fire, post picture to instagram, and enjoy (make sure you blow out the fire before you add your float).

Aside from looking awesome, this classic cocktail has everything you want from a rum drink, spice, sweetness, and a beautiful extra kick. You'll be sure to impress all your friends with your new bartending skills, and you'll definitely love this amped up version of an old classic. Just don't be suprised when you find out how easy these bad boys go down, and how much rum you'll go through before you even realize it. Cheers!

Passionfruit Sangria

For the better part of the last decade I have been a bartender to pay the bills. As anyone who has bartended for this long knows, this also means I am also a certified therapist, relationship counselor and official late night "booty call", because who else is just getting off work at 4am? What it also means is over the course of that time, I've learned a thing or two about the art of cocktail making. When I wasn't busy explaining the difference between a Vodka and Gin Martini (or my preference for stirring no matter what James Bond may think) or trying to get one of my regulars laid, I was messing around with all those fancy bottles behind the bar. With this knowledge gained and now in collaboration with Taylor Magazine we will be presenting a weekly cocktail, to get help power you through your week. Many of these will be my own personal concoctions, and some will simply be slight twists on old classics. Regardless, start taking screen shots and bringing these with you to your swankiest cocktails bars in town, and bask in the glow of the bartender finally asking you, "Wait, what's in that?"

COCKTAIL OF THE WEEK: 1ST EDITION

Unfortunately, summer is almost over, but that shouldn't stop you from drinking delicious summer cocktails like you don't have to worry about work on Monday. With that in mind I'm pleased to kick off the new "Cocktail of the Week" section for Taylor Magazine with a delicious spin on a summer classic.

TAYLOR-MADE: PASSIONFRUIT SANGRIA

Sangria is a staple in any summer drinking diet, but this classic needed a new kick. By changing up some basic parts but still keeping the heart of the drink the same, I've created a drink that's sure to keep you keep you saying "Does this even have any alcohol in it?" while you slowly start slurring your words and getting handsy with your best friend's boyfriend. It's definitey possible to find all these ingredients in stores but you might have to look a little harder for the passionfruit syrup (you can always make your own as well!). So let's get started, here's what you'll need:

- Brandy, any mid-shelf brand will do, you don't need XO for this as it'll simply be part of the larger mix.

- Lemon juice, I would recommend having a juicer if your making this for a party otherwise you will be squeezing a lot of lemons.

- Orange Juice: something nice and fresh not from concentrate, I prefer heavy on the pulp but that's up to you.

- Passionfruit Syrup: you can either find this in a large alcohol store (like Total Wine) or order some online (you can use if for a bunch of recipes) or simply make your own.

- Passionfruit Pulp: should be easier to find in the canned fruit section at higher end organic grocery stores, or you can pulp your own passionfruit (but this is a pain).

- Moscato: I prefer a nice pink, bubbly version (Jacob's Creek), but it's perfectly acceptable to use a non carbonated (rule of thumb, men would prefer no bubbles, but once they try it they'll love it either way). 

- A variety of fruit: In a classic Sangria you'd be using apples, oranges, strawberries, and maybe lemons or limes, but you can really add whatever you want here to spice up. 

- Mason Jars: The best and classiest way to serve real sangria in my opinion, you can usually find these at Costco or the like for just a couple bucks a glass and they can be repurposed often.

PREPARATION: For a group of 5

- Firstly, get everything set out, so the mixing will go as smoothly as possible. 

- How many people are you making drinks for?: If it's a large group I would recommend doing something in a jug that people can just pour for themselves, the drink is not hard to make, but it takes some time if you have to do it for 30 separate people.

- Gather and cut your fruit, for the purposes of this we will stick with the classics and say Oranges, Apples, and Strawberries. Typically you'll want about half a larger fruit for each person (so 1/2 apple and orange) and two whole smaller fruits (so two strawberries per person). 

- Juice your lemons: you will need 1oz of lemon juice per person. Depending on the lemon size and juiciness, it should be anywhere from 1-2 lemons per person. 

- Once all your fruit is cut and your lemon juice squeezed, and your jug for mixing is ready, we can move on to the actual mixing. 

MIXING: Per Person (5 people) in your Jug

- Firstly add all your fruit: we will be mixing later so its ok for this to sit there for the moment

- Ingredients per person:

1. 1 oz brandy (5 oz)

2. 1 oz lemon juice (5 oz)

3. 2 oz orange juice (10 oz)

4. 1/2 oz Passionfruit syrup (2 1/2 oz)

5. 1 oz passion fruit pulp (5 oz)

6. 1/5 bottle of Moscato (1 Full Bottle)

Mix all the ingredients together (except Moscato) in your jug (You want something that holds about 3 liters), and add ice so that the jug is about 2/3's full. Stir everything for about 30 seconds before adding your Moscato on top. Stir agin for another 20-30 seconds making sure to mix up from the bottom as you stir. Add ice to fill up the jug the rest of the way and you are (almost) ready to serve.

SERVING:

Fill each of the Mason Jars about 2/3's of the way with ice. It can be nice here to have some extra fruit pre-cut that people can add a little scoop to their drink before pouring on the Sangria (as it sometimes tends to stick to the bottom of the jug). Pass around and enjoy!

NOTES:

If you are planning on serving a larger quantity (5 people and up) I would recommend not adding ice to the mixture before serving (as it will water down as it sits there). Rather mix everything together as before, without adding the ice, and simply fill people's Mason Jars with ice to the top, to insure a delicious ice cold Sangria.

Now get out there and say "Winter be Damned!" as you sip this delicious concoction and dream about bikinis and tan lines. We'd love to hear your feedback, or if you have any owns twists on this classic recipe you'd like to offer, chuck it in the comments section below. But for now, sit back, relax, and enjoy.

Tantra for Dummies: Use These 3 Tips to Tap Into a Tantric Orgasm, and Start Your Journey Towards Being a Sex God

What do you think of when you hear Tantra? For some they jump to the texts of the ancient religion dealing with the process of using our worldly beings as a way to access the outer limits of reality and bring ourselves closer to Samadhi or enlightenment. But you weren't thinking about that were you? No, I know you, you were thinking about sex, crazy, never ending, ultimate, blissful sex, and maybe Sting, for some reason a lot of people think of Sting. 

Well fine if that's what you wanna talk about, that's what we'll talk about, sex. Just keep in mind sex only plays a small part in the actual ancient texts of Tantra, but because we're all have a collective, naughty mind, let's just focus on the naughty. But what exactly is Tantric sex? And how can you use elements of this style of getting down to make yourself a better lover? All in good time.

First, let's talk a little bit about the premise of this whole thing. Tantra has roots in ancient Indian (like from India) times, like 5th Century AD kinda ancient. This is not going to be a lecture on ancient philosophy and religion though, so excuse me if I skip over some details. Basically the ancient yogic texts were all about the search for Samadhi (enlightenment). Most of the traditional philosophies believed that in order to reach this state of pure consciousness, one had to go above and beyond the temptations and pleasures of a normal human existence. This meant going beyond good and bad, right and wrong, pain and pleasure etc. Only by commiting oneself to this lifestyle could one go beyond this state of normal human existence into this higher level of consciousness. 

Tantra arose as an alternative viewpoint from this more traditional sect. Though it was not originally focused on sex (as it's now usually associated), what tantrics believed was you could use certain elements of the human experience to also elevate yourself to this higher plain. 

Enter Sex...

If you've ever had an orgasm (and let's hope for your sake you have) you know that in those brief few moments of ectasy, the entire world goes blank. Your mind completely clears, and for a brief second, you enter into another state of consciousness. You are completely and utterly in the present moment, totally conscious, and then... it's gone. So Tantric Sex attempts to train oneself to extend these moments. Women have a natural advantage, which is why they were revered in the tantric community. Multiple orgasms really are a thing of beauty when you're trying to get closer to enlightenment... or whatever. Men unfortunately aren't so naturally gifted. We get a small glimpse at the light, then it's over from anywhere from five minutes to an hour (depending). However, there is hope! With proper training a willing partner, and lot's and lot's of practice (poor you I know), you can tap into your inner tantric God, and be well on your way to finding Samadhi (or just having really awesome sex). With that in mind I present:

"Tantra For Dummies: 3 Quick Tips To Tap Into Your Tantric Orgasm, And Start Your Journey Towards Being A Sex God!"

3. The 80% Rule

This is the most straight forward and most simple intro tip. When practising to channel your inner tantra, treat sex like it's a scale. Imagine 0-100%, 0 obviously being nothing, and 100% being that brief moment you have your final "Vinegar Stoke" (The League Anyone?). For men the key is staying in a certain range, you feel good enough that you can stay um, at "attention" but not so good that you cross the point of no return. This is why having a excited, willing partner is key. When you first start out on your road to tantric glory, you will need to take some breaks along the way. Breaks are cool if your partner is on board, not so cool if it's some chick you picked up at the bar, who is wondering why you keep pulling out and breathing hard every five minutes. 

For Tantric Sex you have to refine what it means to have an orgasm. For men we associate the orgasm with ejaculation, but these are actually two seperate processes which through a life of training we've become accustomed to having mere nanoseconds apart. In reality, the chemicals released in our brain upon orgasm and the release of sperm from the ejaculatory ducts are two seperate occurrences. So by training ourselves in this 80% zone we can learn to control this impulse, and eventually seperate it. With practice (lots and lots of practice) you can slowly increase your pleasure threshold past the 80% mark into 90 even 95%. Resulting in the chemical release associated with the orgasm, without the physical release typically associated with the orgasm. With lots of practice and commitment (life is hard I know) you can actually train yourself to experience the male equivalent of the female multiple orgasm. Just be careful, even with a bunch of training the threshold still exists, and once you pass it, anatomically there's no going back. So if you're planning on practicing the Tantric "Pull-Out Method" just be wary, let's just say, "accidents" can happen.

2. Sublimation

This one is a little more tricky. If you want to look a little farther into it, simply google "Tantric Sublimation" and you can spend a few hours looking up different techniques and guides to keeping cool under pressure. In lamens terms what this basically means is "tighten that shit up". Sublimation is a Yogic and Tantric process of moving energy up through our bodily system. Without getting too sophisticated this essentially means practicing tighetening techniques of the prostate gland and the urethra (the hole in your ding-dong). 

As you continue to practice and engage with your partner, you use these breathing and tightening techniques to move the flow of energy away from your downstairs, upwards. There's a variety of ways to do this, but a few are more effective then others. Like I said hop on google and check some out for yourself. Just to give you an idea, imagine your partner is on top. It's starting to feel, really, really good, pushing past your 80% threshold. By focusing on tighetening the muscles downstairs and taking deep breaths, you can attempt to overcome these sensations and move the energy away before it's too late. The key again is making sure you have someone who is on board (literally and figuratively) so they won't question all those strange faces you're making. Which brings us to our last tip.

1. Communication

If you're really committed to giving Tantra a shot, the biggest thing you need is  partner who's on board. Doesn't matter if it's a long time girl friend, former babysitter, or maybe just some chick who was doing yoga poses on Tinder, having a willing, enthusiastic partner is key. Make sure you have discussed this and they know what they're getting into, but honestly if you say "I wanna get better at sex so we can have marathon sessions together", they probably won't argue. Also realize, this is something that takes time, and it goes against everything we see in our "normal" exposure to all things sexual. There are no "money shots" in Tantric Sex, well, at least there's not "supposed" to be.

Once you've found a partner and they've agreed, just realize at first things can be a little frustrating. Many women struggle to have an orgasm period, so the idea of prolonging yours might sound all well and good, until she's super close and you decide it's time to pull out and sublimate. But focus on the long game, make sure your partner knows what they're getting in for, and the rest is all about practice.

So go out there, get someone willing, and get to it! 

Damaged Goods: What To Do When You Find Out a Women In Your Life Has a History of Sexual Abuse

Before we go any further, let's take a moment to address that headline... "Damaged Goods". Is that really how we think of women in this country who have been victims of some form of sexual assault? Unfortunately, a lot of the times the answer is yes, and I for one think that needs to change. The reality is more staggering than you can imagine. Each year there are close to 300,000 sexual assaults in the U.S. with most of these going unreported. What that means is that number could be even higher, and in my experience it definitely is.

The truth is, that the majority of women have experienced sexual assault in one form or another at some point in there lives. This doesn't mean every women walking the streets has been a victim of rape (though the numbers on that are shocking as well), but most have been victims in some sense. Whether it's rape, unwanted sexual advances, sexual harrassment or anything else of the like, the point is most women have an experience involving their sexuality they'd rather not share. For me this topic hits home. Many of my best friends on this planet happen to be women, and for one reason or another they all seem to confide in me at some point. I'd like to say the idea of hearing these stories gets easier with time, but the truth is I always find myself infuriated at whoever the perpetrator may have been. I find myself asking questions like,

"Who would do this?"

"Why wouldn't you come forward?"

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

But as I've met more and more people with age, and encountered more and more stories like these I've learned quite a few things. The most important being how similar many of these stories are, and what it says about the person who's finally able to share it with you. 

This is an article for men who may be in the dark on this topic. It seems many of my own guy friends are oblivious to this disturbing trend. If this sounds like you, or you've recently found yourself in a situation wondering, "How do I deal with this information," then take a few minutes and learn from my own experience. Whether it's your best friend, your girl friend, fiance or wife, doesn't matter, what matters is how you deal with receiving this new information, and what you can take away from it. 

DON'T JUST HEAR... LISTEN

When a women you care about and cares about you decides to open up to you about this topic, it's usually not something done casually and in passing. If you find yourself in this situation and you don't know what to do as you process this new information the best advice I can give you is simply don't DO anything. Realize that for her, this isn't easy, but she cares enough about you, that she wants you to know. This can be a huge step in a relationship when someone opens up to you with this type of story. The best thing you can do is simply hear her out, don't interject, don't get upset, simply let her tell you in her own time this story and how it's played a role in her development.

DON'T PITY HER... SHE DOESN'T NEED YOUR PITY

The first time a women opened up to me about a sexual assault in her past I was in college. It was my best friend at the time, I was 18, and I simply didn't know how to handle it. As I grew up and I continued to be confronted with this trend, I found that many (in my experience, the majority) of women had situations when they were younger. It disgusts me to think about, but the statistics show that the majority of assaults are committed by someone the victim knows, and many times someone older. This means by the time this person is opening up to you this is something that happened a long time ago. That doesn't by any means make it easier, it simply means they've spent the years in between dealing with it, what they need from you is for you to understand how it has shaped them. Especially if it was in the past one of the worst things you can do is talk about reporting it, or doing something about it, sexual assault is one of the trickiest crimes to prosecute, especially if it's been years. They don't want a solution from you, they just want you to know, to understand this difficult part of their life, and that they trust you with this information. 

SHE'S STRONGER BECAUSE OF IT

I can't speak for every women who's ever been assaulted, but I do know they come in all shapes and sizes and backgrounds, but the one's I've known have all shared one similar quality, strength. This is not to say that women can't be strong and independent without trauma, but those who have faced these travesties and dealt with them, and become better women because of them are a sight to behold. Unfortunately, many women never get over the issues associated with such an event, and even the one's who get "over" it, are never really over it. What they share however is a belief that they are stronger than their circumstance, they will not let one situation change the person they want to be. For some women it takes years, for others not as long, but just know if she's telling you these things it means to some extent she's dealing with it, she's not letting it define her, and she wants your support. 

SHE DOESN'T WANT THIS TO CHANGE THINGS... SHE JUST WANTS YOU TO KNOW

"I don't want you to think any differently of me." This is something I've heard uttered far too many times for my liking in past relationships, and again when I was younger, I didn't quite know how to process it. My first thought used to be, "But you were raped, how could this NOT change things," but the truth is it's not about you, it's about her. If someone feels close enough to share this information with you and your view on them changes, then you probably didn't deserve to be with her in the first place. The truth is however, you view SHOULD change, but for the better. She doesn't want to be viewed as a victim, she doesn't need your pity, and if those are your first thoughts, then you have some growing up to do before you're ready for the real world. However, if you see her through a new filter, admire her courage, stand by her side in silent support, then you just affirm the reason she trusted you in the first place. 

Whether you know it or not, in relationships past or future, you've probably been or will be with someone who has been a victim of sexual assault. Remember that her situation doesn't change the person she has become. Remember that she doesn't want your pity. Remember that she's telling you this because she trusts you, because she wants you to know. Finally, if you've been affected by this situation make a change of your own. Remember how it felt when someone you cared for opened up to you about this for the first time, and realize if we want to stop this trend, it starts with all of us. We can't change the past, but if we really care for the beatiful women in our lives, we can hold each other accountable for a better future. 

And remember ladies, you're beautiful, because you're you, and no one can take that away from you.