Monday, July 21, 2014

Two Weeks and Counting

As I close in on the first leg of my journey I'm beyond ecstatic. Not only do I get to go to Colorado and see my best friend get married... I'm actually doing the honors of performing the ceremony. When I got ordained a few years back I never really knew if it was something I'd use outside of my first ceremony. I performed my sisters wedding which was epically Star Wars themed! But now a few years later I have another opportunity to put my powers to good use. Though this wedding will be a little more traditional than the first I'm still excited to add my own bit of flavor and pizzazz. On top of that I get to spend a week in Beer Heaven and do something I never do but feel is my duty, smoke some legal weed. Walk right into a store, pick out a baggy, walk right out and light a doobie in front of La Policia. 

I haven't packed, and honestly I'm sure I'll forget more than one essential item, but none the less I'm excited for the process of doing that. I`ve always been somewhat of a nomad as it is, but now I have to pack my ENTIRE LIFE, everything into one giant backpack. What do you need, what is totally non-essential. I don't really think you can know for sure until you`re out there and think to yourself, "shit I can't believe I forgot that," or "why the hell did I even bring this?"

I'm excited to pay it forward, to put out some good karmic juju and hope it pays off in the future. The one good thing about moving is you get to reinvent yourself. Anyone who moved growing up knows that while the idea of leaving your home and your friends is daunting, the idea of reinvention is invigorating. I long to be a better person, more giving, more open to other people and other cultures, and I think this will afford me that opportunity. To become a "yes" man, to take new risks and adventures, meet new people and go new places. Now I know it won`t all be exciting and sometimes it will just be plain old hard work finding a place to sleep, a meal to eat. But I think the more open-minded I stay, and the more I accept that the journey is more important than the destination, well with that attitude nothing can truly go wrong. I hope to hear from the people back home, I`ve moved a lot in my life so the idea of being homesick is not one I`m super familiar with, but I know it's something I will be at some point. I hope anyone of my friends who keeps in touch and is reading this knows how much you all mean. I don't know where I'll be when I get back, heck I don't even know for sure if I'll come back, but I think in my heart I know that home is where you make it (you wanna see homos naked? Waterboy anyone?). With that in mind I want you all to know I have many homes and as I begin to embark on this adventure I'll be home sick for all of you.  

Monday, July 7, 2014

Anxious Dreams

As I pass the one month mark until my trip I feel as if I've stepped back into my doubts from months past. I'm still excited, still ready for an adventure but as the days begin to dwindle I've started to realize "holy shit... I'm actually doing this". I'm assuming this is normal, to feel some apprehension as you close in on any huge life altering move. I've thought about past relationships, friendships, and played over and over again stories from my past in my head. I don't know what is in store for me, but I'm anxious and I'm nervous but I have to remember this is why I wanted to do this in the first place. To test myself, push my limits, and go outside of my comfort zone to see what I`m really capable of. 

I don't know if it's karma or simply an awakening, but I seem to be noticing more and more of my friends and aquaintances are doing something similar to me. How did I not notice these stories and faces before, but now they shine down on me and fill me with new life. I've received words of encouragement and inspiration, made plans with friends I might meet, and tried to mentally prepare myself for this experience. I think I'm ready, I mean I know you can never truly be "ready" for something that potentially life altering but I think I am close. The reality is I'm most likely in for a grand wide awakening and an expectations or predictions I've had will be tossed aside as soon as the plane wheels touch down. I'm excited for my new friends, where are they from, what brought them here, and most importantly, where are they going, and can I please tag along. 

I'm also excited to see how I change, how I adapt, how everything from my outlook on life to my writing style changes. If I stick this out, if I really do this, I will not be the same person in a year that I am today. I've debated what I should do to track this change, to somehow capture my transformation. Obviously this blog will be a great way to look back and track my progression but I think something visual is important to as well. So whenever I'm not sure if what I did was right or if I've really changed I will have proof to look back on and remind myself of what I've done and what I've accomplished. Because of that and because of the age we live in, I've decided on a "selfie a day". I've seen wonderful videos of how you change over a year and I've always wondered what my own transition would be like. So starting the day I land I will begin my chronicle, and use it at the end of my journey as encouragement to continue to push onward. To continue to challenge the social normalcy of society, and to continue to remind myself that I don't want to be different, I am different, because I'm not conforming to what life and society tells us to do, and I encourage you all to do the same. I know not many of you will read this and keep up, but for those of you that do I think the biggest thing I hope to accomplish is to help push you in the right direction. To give you the courage to chase your dreams no matter how silly they may seem. And maybe someday we can toast to following our dreams, while others watch them float by.